I feel like this is my life. There's the possibility of heading in a million different directions, all beginning at one point denoted by now- this moment (or general period, I suppose) of time.
I'm not going to bore you with my lame "what am I going to do with my life ramblings" because I know that God has got a plan even though I do not. I've been reading Exodus and I'd rather not fall into the whole "you brought us out into the desert to die?!" attitude of the Israelites. Actually, it may be too late. I've fallen.
It's in the moments of the most chaos, the most uncertainty that your faith SHOULD be strongest. Mine is at the weakest point that it's been in, oh- it feels like years! I've stopped moving forward & I'm sliding backwards. (Not to be confused with "backsliding," thankyouverymuch.) It's these times of "I'm not really DOING anything wrong" that are so incredibly dangerous. I've just got a rebellious heart but, hey, what else is new?
I need a swift kick in the butt from God. Honestly, what am I going to do when I can no longer rely on missions trips and summer ministry to motivate me to change. I'm too emotionally driven for my own good.
This year has taught me a lot about myself: I'm not spontaneous, I'm structured; I'm not rational, I'm emotional.
My alarm clock is set for 6:30 am. There's no way that I'll get up that early, I haven't all week. I should be doing something more productive right now, like working on devotions for CLIME this summer or doing my own dang devotions for that matter. I've been reading the Bible plenty lately and yet lacking in the whole "devotion" part. But no, instead I'm blogging on this LAME blog that I never update and that no one ever reads and listening to Julian Smith on repeat. SIDENOTE: Julian Smith (whose YouTube videos I chuckle at without fail) also sings and it's fantastic. You can check him out here. "Don't Know How It Goes" is on repeat. He's searching for his place in the world- sounds familiar. Plus, he has a fabulous voice.
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