I'm being haunted by dreams of snakes in my house. Last night, I dreamt of a pink, orange, and yellow snake. "I'm pretty sure that's poisonous," were my words exactly. Probably, Alyssa? Really? Isn't that the cardinal rule of poisonous things, that they're brightly colored. I wonder if pink, yellow, and orange would be considered "bright" colors.
Anywho, in 2 weeks I will be moving up to camp for the summer. Geesh. That one sort of snuck up on me. I've also decided that this will be my last 2 weeks attending Faith and that I'll be moving on after the summer. I plan to church shop and maintain that whole "I'm afraid of commitment" attitude for a while until I find a nice place to settle down and get connected.
I've been working on preparing group devotions for the summer. So far, I have accumulated a wide range of topics ranging from the Fruits of the Spirit to foot washing and the call to ministry. I'm pretty excited about it. I bought a Nooma video entitled "Kickball" for a whopping $13 at the Christian bookstore. After watching it a couple of times, it's grown on me. It's all about what we want and how we feel when we don't get it. Rob Bell (of no relation to myself, although you can barely tell judging by both of our bleached blonde hair with dark brown roots) talked about how when we don't get what we asked God for we give him that "But I thought you loved me" look and attitude. I've been thinking about how often I really play that card with God, like I can pull out sympathy cards on God- that is sort of ridiculous. When God doesn't respond to my prayers immediately with what I find most fitting, I act like a 5 year old and pout about it only to find out that God's got something so much greater planned for me just a little ways down the road.
He references Jeremiah 29:11-13 and put it in the little guide to the DVD in the Message version, which I'm not a huge fan of BUT:
"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out- plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed."
I like the way that reads. I find so much solace in that verse and I just love rediscovering it over and over and over again. I can think of so many times where that verse has just popped into my head and it seems like every time I forget what it says. When I find my way to the Bible to look it up, BAM! Again. Beautiful. "I know what I'm doing."
That's a good thing because, well, I have no idea what I'm doing. What am I doing leading the girl's CLIME team this summer? What the heck? What am I doing NOT in South America right now? What am I doing with this dang English degree? What am I doing in this job, in this family, in this stinking attitude of superiority? "I have it all planned out." Good to know.
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