A lot of times, I look in the mirror and notice that my hair is greasy, my face is zitty, and my eyebrows are slowly merging into one, large, dominant eyebrow and I long for the liberation of South America. I long for the countless bug bites on my legs and the sweaty upper lip and the stench that radiated from my body that could only be masked my countless layers of deodorant. I miss not wearing make-up or fancy shmancy clothes and still feeling (and knowing) that I was beautiful.
I need that Peruvian air of freedom to blow in this crowded bathroom in America.
Peru was the single most liberating and suffocating experience of my life. I have never felt more free or uninhibited as I did that summer. However, I have never felt so small, so watched, so smooshed under a microscope. It was quite bizarre.
Perhaps even more strange is the fact that I feel like who I am here and now is not who I really am because I am that girl in Peru. What I found there was the person that I knew was in me all along but was afriad to let out because I might get called weird or different, or even worse, radical.
5/31/08
1 comments:
Well, it was WRITTEN on your birthday, I suppose. Yours and Jame-James!
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